Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Drop Your Approval Rating, Increase Authentic Relationships

"If you're your authentic self,
                            there is no competition."
                                                         Scott Stratton

Most of us appreciate people who are genuinely themselves.  My husband often asks me, "What do you love about that friend or person?" 

The answer almost always includes responses:

"They are themselves (or genuine)."

"They're comfortable in their own skin."

"They accept me for who I am."

Our desire to receive approval or acceptance is often a barrier to being authentic (psychologists and authors have written much on the subject of authenticity).  Most of us want to look good in action, speech and appearance.  We will trade our real/authentic selves for a higher approval rating, thinking people will like or love us more. 

The truth is to increase connection we need to be authentic, real, and honest AND allow others to be authentic, real and honest.  No one is perfect!  

Relationships deepen when we are ourselves
Some ways I practice being the real me: 

  • share with a close friend that I feel vulnerable about   _______________
  • share something I'm really excited about
  • laugh at myself
  • admit mistakes and apologize
  • tell others who I am (experiences, abilities, passions)
  • practice saying what's on my mind even when it's uncomfortable
Some ways I practice being a safe place for others to be real/authentic:
  • being honest with my own struggles
  • listening without judgment
  • listening without fixing them
  • discuss real life joys, challenges, hurts, growth
  • keep their confidence
How do you practice being real and allowing others to be real?

What's one thing you can do this week to create authenticity in a current relationship or group? 

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