As I prepared this topic for parents, I found myself enmeshed with my computer and google! I’m here to tell you this is not an article to tell you how evil technology is for our lives and the lives of our children. The saying, “I can’t live with it and I can’t live without it” seems apropos when it comes to parenting in a screen-driven world.
There are thousands of resources on the topic of parenting kids in a digital world. So much information that it’s difficult to know where to begin reading or listening to a podcast. Upon reading several resources, parenting and now grandparenting in the digital age, I have compiled:
Tips
Questions for Parents
Resources
Implementation Ideas/Tools
TIPS
- Educate yourself
- Open discussions with your children about technology
- Set Clear Guidelines and Boundaries (you are the parent)
- Write a Family Technology plan and update as needed
- Use Parental Control Software
- Model the behavior you desire and expect from your child
- Have Tech free zones/times in your home
- Bedrooms tech-free (check out the research)
- Explore online with your children
- Children 0-24 months: American Pediatric Assoc. recommends no screen time
QUESTIONS TO ASK
- Is the use of technology to create something positive (build, write, research)?
- Does this interaction with technology support our family values?
- What non-tech options could accomplish the same objective for which your child is in front of the screen?
- Am I buying this device to keep up with the other parents and get my child off my back? "everyone else has one"
RESOURCES
1. Parental Controls
Commensensemedia.org
https://forcefield.me/ taken from the website
- lock in SafeSearch and YouTube Restricted Mode to filter out pornography and other inappropriate content
- block access to specific sites
- shut down all apps, games, social networks whenever digital downtime is needed
- geo-locate your children on a continually updated map
Focus on Family recommendations (taken from the website)
- Net Nanny preferred web filtering software
- Forcefield preferred parental control software
- Covenant Eyes preferred Internet accountability software
Family Screen Time Agreement Guide
- Parenting in the Digital Age: http://podcast.app/parenting-in-the-digital-age-ashley-januszewski-e32526921/?share=and
A one hour podcast. Includes how easy it is to access pornography, strategies to keep communication and open discussions ongoing with your children and a Christian perspective.
Shorter Podcast with strategies for raising children in a world of technology. A well-rounded podcast to help you think through your own family tech plan.
Good to know a blog on attention spans: Is it ADHD or Technology?
3. Books
- Growing Up Social, raising relational kids in a screen-driven world, by Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane. This is a great resource and has a lot of examples, practical application, and tools for parenting around technology and building relationship skills. The authors include how to teach your children five A+ relational skills (Appreciation, Affection, Attention, Anger Management, and Apology).
- Calm, Cool and Connected; 5 Digital Habits For A More Balanced Life, by Arlene Pellicane. Do you struggle with being screen driven? This book is written for adults. Remember we want to model the behavior we desire from our children. It has a quiz to assess your own digital habits.
- The New Brain: How the Modern Age Is Rewiring Your Mind, by Dr. Richard Restak This book discusses how we are all capable of reaching a breaking point where we lose our ability to focus due to overstimulation. This is what could be happening with many of our children. A child who is seen as "having difficulty focusing" or "bright, but not working to his/her full potential" may be unable to keep up with the demands of a stimulus-filled environment.
SJ Parents the following books are in our parent library. They may be checked out in the school office through Ms. Sara.
Implement: Ideas and Tools
Pivot: This teachable tool comes from Calm, Cool and Connected and reflects respect and value for others. Parents, teach PIVOT to your children AND model PIVOT for them. When you are using a tech device and someone enters the room or speaks to you:
a) Set aside the device and pivot toward the person
b) Gain eye contact with the person
c) Listen and converse with the person
d) If you need to complete something important on your device PIVOT and say, "I am completing an email to send, then I will be with you." Complete the task and PIVOT
Tech-Free Zones:
a) Specify Tech-Free Zones and Times in your home
b) Bedrooms Tech Free-buy an alarm clock for older children so they don't have to use an alarm on their phone
c) Set aside at least one area of your home that is a Tech-Free Zone
d) Recommend: No tech or screen time before the school day begins
An example of tech-free times, you may use the dining table for study time or office work and a computer or other tech device is needed for these uses. BUT when it's family dinner time the area/time becomes a tech-free area/time zone.
What if a parent in the home is on call for work or has work to do on the computer? Good question: "Mom is on call for the doctor's office this week so her phone will be on 24/7. This is a part of her job." "Dad has a work deadline to meet, he'll be on the computer after dinner." I encourage modeling the behavior and expectations you want for your child. At the same time, you are the parent and have had a different role than your child in your home and workplace.
a) Specify Tech-Free Zones and Times in your home
b) Bedrooms Tech Free-buy an alarm clock for older children so they don't have to use an alarm on their phone
c) Set aside at least one area of your home that is a Tech-Free Zone
d) Recommend: No tech or screen time before the school day begins
An example of tech-free times, you may use the dining table for study time or office work and a computer or other tech device is needed for these uses. BUT when it's family dinner time the area/time becomes a tech-free area/time zone.
Another example may be that you set times daily that no screens are on. If you have an older child you could ask them to set aside non-school times of no screen times in blocks of 4 hours for a minimum of 3 times a week. Parents schedule screen down times for yourself too-and shares this with your children!
What if a parent in the home is on call for work or has work to do on the computer? Good question: "Mom is on call for the doctor's office this week so her phone will be on 24/7. This is a part of her job." "Dad has a work deadline to meet, he'll be on the computer after dinner." I encourage modeling the behavior and expectations you want for your child. At the same time, you are the parent and have had a different role than your child in your home and workplace.
Make A Family Tech Plan:
a) https://heartmindonline.org/resources/creating-a-family-screen-time-agreement-the-heart-mind-way
Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life.
Proverbs 22:6
No comments:
Post a Comment